The waiting room. (The owners enter and sit on the bench. The village vets enter and stand by the table.)

http:/// Cast: The village vets (two or more!) Mr Sparks and Floppy the Rabbit Miss Neat and Pip the Poodle Mrs Grey and Nippy the Hamster Ricky Rocker and Poppy the Parrot. Props: White coats for the village vets; boxes and cages for the pets; a table; a bench; a conjuror s outfi t for Mr Sparks; pink bow and bone for Pip; spiky hair and scruffy clothes for Ricky. Sound effects: Snuffl es, sparks, barks, squeaks, squawks, and so on. Scene: The waiting room. (The owners enter and sit on the bench. The village vets enter and stand by the table.) Everyone: (They sing to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. ) Find, fi nd, fi nd a cure For your poorly pets Bring your cats And birds and rats To see the village vets. Hello! We are the village vets. We re here to cure your poorly pets. (Mr Sparks jumps up. He carries a magic box and wears a top hat.) Sparks: I drove here in my speedy van I m Mr Sparks the Magic Man. (He opens the box.) (Taking Floppy the Rabbit from his box.) A rabbit in a shiny box, With lots of clever keys and locks. continued

http:/// Sparks: But Floppy Rabbit s very sick He never does his magic trick. He hates my wand. He hates my hat. He hates my stardust. Why is that? Sparks: We think we know the reason why We think your rabbit s very SHY! Perhaps he d like a cosy cuddle, Instead of sparks and bangs and muddle! Can you cure him fast and soon? Bring him back this afternoon. (Mr Sparks and Floppy go back to the bench. Miss Neat picks up Pip.) Neat: Neat: Neat: Who is next? It s kind Miss Neat. Pip the Poodle will not eat! He wears his ribbons, pink and smart But still he s sad. It breaks my heart. (She sobs.) His bow is pink. His collar, too. His bone is pink as well. Boo hoo! (She holds up a pink bone.) I never shout. I m always quiet But still he seems to hate his diet. What s upset him? Let us think Perhaps your poodle s tired of PINK! Perhaps your poodle really likes Scruffy fur with big, green spikes. Perhaps he wants some squeaky toys, And lots of fun and lots of NOISE. Can you cure him fast and soon? Bring him back this afternoon. (Miss Neat and Pip go back to the bench. Mrs Grey stands up with Nippy.) Grey: Help me please! I m Mrs Grey My hamster LOVES to run away! She hops around the house at night. (She shows the vets a plastic ball. Nippy is inside it.) continued

http:/// Grey: Grey: We ll do our best to put things right She s fast asleep inside her ball! She s NOT asleep. She s tricked you all. Nippy nibbles doors and locks, She hides inside my hats and socks. She vanishes. She scampers free, And NEVER wants a hug from me. (She looks very sad.) Perhaps your problem isn t traffi c We think you hamster just loves MAGIC! She doesn t want a cosy lap She wants to hear the people clap. Can you cure her fast and soon? Bring her back this afternoon. (Miss Grey and Nippy go back to the bench. Ricky and Poppy jump up.) Ricky: Ricky: Ricky: Who is this with spiky hair? (He speaks very LOUDLY.) I m Ricky Rocker from the Fair. My Parrot s ill. She doesn t squawk. (He holds up her cage.) Have you tried to make her talk? I ve sung LOUD songs. I ve SHOUTED jokes, But Poppy Parrot only croaks. (Someone CROAKS sadly.) She never seems to want to play What is wrong? She will not say. Perhaps she is a timid bird, And far too SCARED to speak a word. You shout and yell and stamp your feet But Poppy needs a voice that s sweet. Can you cure her fast and soon? Bring her back this afternoon. (Ricky and Poppy go back to the bench. ALL the owners jump up.) Owners: The afternoon is here at last. Will you help us soon and fast? continued

http:/// You re all kind owners, we can tell. You love your pets; you treat them well, And yet they all seem sad and ill Will we help you? YES WE WILL! Pick up your pets. The cure is found You only need to SWAP THEM ROUND. (At this point, your class will need to work out the answer to the puzzle: Which pet will be happiest with which owner? There are several solutions, and they can choose their favourite. One possible answer is: Floppy with Mrs Grey; Poppy with Miss Neat; Nippy with Mr Sparks and Pip with Ricky. Now the owners swap Floppy, Poppy, Nippy and Pip around until everyone is happy. The whole cast lines up for the fi nal song.) We ve found a cure for all their muddles Some have fun and some have cuddles! Everyone: Find, fi nd, fi nd a cure For your poorly pets Bring your dogs And fi sh and frogs To see the village vets.

http:/// ILLUSTRATIONS MIKE PHILLIPS/BEEHIVE ILLUSTRATION