Fit the Fourth. In which we learn about chores, some involving chickens

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1 Fit the Fourth In which we learn about chores, some involving chickens Question 50: I don t think this really happened. Magic is just in old books and stupid videos. I found that bug s wing right over there, and no princess lives around here, and I don t think there are three sisters who are the color of crayons, and there aren t really faeries, so this just a story, isn t it? Certainly it s a story, Amri, but that doesn t mean it is not true. Just because you haven t met people, doesn t mean they don t exist. You ve never met my Uncle Kaz, but I can assure you that cantankerous grouch very much exists. Just because you can t see things, that doesn t mean they aren t there. You can t see the air we breathe at least if it is healthy, you can t. There are lots of things we don t understand that are real. Question 51: OK, but wait. I want to know more about Amri. Is she my size and age? Almost exactly or maybe twice or three times your size and age I don t know. You will have to decide all that for yourself. Question 52: Is she pretty? Is she pretty? I may not be the right person to ask. I think all girls are pretty. If being curious makes you pretty, Princess Amri was very pretty. Better than me telling you what she is, however, I hope she will show you. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. It was time for chores. Question 53: What kind of chores? Farm chores, of course. Chichien announced that the waterers in the hen house were low. Cheyenne volunteered to show the princess how to refill them. She then confided, My favorite chore, your Highness, is not tilling the ground. I m really out of my element there. Question 54: What does out of her element mean? Elements meant something different a long time ago, something about water and air and fire and something I m forgetting. I think Cheyenne just meant she liked working around the pond and with animals much better than scratching the ground with a hoe. 17

2 Cheyenne and Princess Amri found a couple of buckets just outside the hen house door. One was big enough to hold several gallons. The other was smaller just Princess Amri s size. They took the empty buckets and headed toward the pond to fill them. While on their way, the two passed a large garden. Odd plants with tall green stalks were sticking out through a thick layer of straw and caught the princess s attention. At the top of the stalks were pretty green curlicues. What flowers are they? asked the most inquisitive member of the royal family. Garlic. Garlic? That's not a flower. They are garlic plants nonetheless. What are the curlicues Garlic scapes. The garlic plant's flower bud. Scapes are good to eat, too. The princess didn t look convinced. Doesn't garlic give you bad breath? Not when you share with a friend, encouraged Cheyenne. They had now reached the pond. Swimming contentedly were quite a few ducks. One big black duck was swimming apart from most of the others. Behind her, swimming in a line were ducklings. Princess Amri thought ducklings were supposed to be yellow, but these ducklings were either gray or white and black. Cheyenne looked about and with a slightly raised voice said, Oh, dear. One of the ducklings is missing. How many are there supposed to be? Cheyenne didn t answer the question, but instead said, I told that momma duck I thought it was too early to take the little ones onto the pond. There are hungry snapping turtles in the pond. And fenny snakes. And fenny snakes. Now, let me show you how to fill a water bucket from the pond without falling in. Question 55: Wasn t she sad about the duckling? Cheyenne didn t sound sad, so Princess Amri asked, Aren t you sad? Yes, your Highness. It is always sad when you lose a duckling or any animal. When you live on a farm, though, you find out quickly that death happens. Maybe it has only lost its way, that duckling. I ve warned that momma duck. Question 56: She can talk to ducks? Well, Amri, she talks to ducks. But it sounds as though they don t always listen. Looking skyward, Cheyenne announced, We have time to look around. Ducklings can be noisy, so look and listen. 18

3 The princess walked to the water s edge. She looked. She listened. She didn't see the lost ducking nor snapping turtles nor fenny snakes. Frogs made trilling sounds, and ducks occasionally quacked, but nothing sounded like a distressed duckling. She mistook several duckling-sized clumps of mud for the duckling, but found no real clues. She had walked only as far as a near-by willow tree, when Cheyenne called her back. Question 57: But they found the duckling, didn t they? Suddenly Princess Amri cried out. Ah! Oh, sorry to get your hopes up. She cried out because she saw a flash of light near a big rock on the far side of the pond. She was happy, though. I think I saw the faerie! Maybe the mermaids have returned, was Cheyenne s response. They moved out when the snapping turtles moved in. Real mermaids aren t very big, and their scales flash in the sun. Maybe that s what you saw, but I don t think they will ever return. Question 58: Were there really mermaids? Princess Amri wasn t sure, but she thought Cheyenne sounded serious. Princess Amri pleaded to keep looking. We haven t checked the far side. The princess ran to the big rock where she had seen the flash of light. It had a gentle slope and stuck out over the pond. She climbed up on it. From that vantage point, she looked both for the duckling and the faerie. Shortly she saw a faint blink of green-yellow light high over the middle of the pond. Blinking every few seconds, the lights started to come toward her. Then blinks circled around her. Princess Amri followed them around and around and around until the spinning made her feel a little dizzy. Then a blazing light zoomed between her legs, and the princess lost her balance. And. Question 59:.she tumbled into the pond. Did she get hurt? Yes, she tumbled into the pond, but, no, she didn t get hurt. Fortunately, the pond wasn t deep, and the bottom of the pond was soft and mucky. As Cheyenne ran to the princess, the lights disappeared. Are you OK? The princess nodded her head. Cheyenne reached out her hand, but as the princess reached to meet it, the sister abruptly pulled it away. Princess Amri fell back into the pond with a splash. The periwinkle sister put her hands on her hips and said, Oh my, what are you doing here? The princess, wet and muddy and not very happy, started to give an answer, but Cheyenne wasn t talking to her. 19

4 Question 60: Was she talking to the faerie? Hidden, wedged between two rocks, was a duckling. It was gray-blue with some splotches of white around its eyes. Cheyenne picked it up and gently cradled it in her hands. The duckling appeared to be unhurt. It s good you came over here, Cheyenne told the princess, Otherwise, we might not have found this silly little bird. I think you saved her life. The princess pulled herself out of the muck and crawled out of the pond. She came over to get a closer look at the duckling. Cheyenne showed the princess how to best hold the duckling. Then she placed the duckling into the princess s outstretched hands. It squirmed and wiggled, but before long the baby bird became calm. Would you like to name her, your Highness? It looks like she is wearing a mask. Let s call her Masquerade. Let s take Masquerade over to the duck pen. I ll take the water buckets with us. Chores aren t over. They walked to a fenced-in area with a wide-open gate. There were three ducks inside. One of them had a curly tail. Cheyenne explained that a curly tail was a sign of a male duck. He waddled over to them, quacking all the way. Cheyenne made a har-har-har sound back at it. I should have warned you, Cheyenne announced. Ducks laugh at their own jokes, even though they aren t very funny. Princess Amri put the duckling down, and immediately Masquerade dashed to a large puddle and started splashing. The princess was enjoying watching the duckling swim, when Cheyenne called out, Oh, hello, mama. Princess Amri turned around. The mother duck, with ducklings behind, entered the pen. When Masquerade noticed her mother, she dashed to her if it is possible to dash and waddle at the same time. Mama, happy reunion. Now I ve got a joke for you. Which side of a duck has the most feathers? Without waiting for an answer, Cheyenne replied, The outside. The mama duck laughed. At least, it sure sounded like it. Question 61: Did you tell Cheyenne that joke, Grandpa? She didn t learn it from me, Amri. Plus, you know I don t tell corny jokes. What? Now, however, Cheyenne and the princess each picked up a bucket and walked over to the hen house. Princess Amri asked, Can you be a princess and a farmer at the same time. What do you think? 20

5 I don t know. I like being a princess, but I like this farm, too. Sometimes I like wearing fancy dresses, but sometimes I like wearing jeans. I like getting dirty, and I won t wear make-up. I don t like it when ducklings die, though. The best part of farming is that you truly experience life birth, growth, and death. Alas, sometimes ducklings do die. But sometimes you find them alive! the princess added. By then, they had arrived at the entrance to the hen house. Before we go in, Cheyenne said, let me say a few things. If you stay calm, the chickens will stay calm mostly. We have a rooster. He is probably outdoors, but you will need to watch him. He has a lordly disposition and will challenge anyone he thinks is a threat to him or to the hens. Cheyenne went on, Chichien calls him Sneaky Thigh Biter. Cayenne calls him Cordon Bleu. My idea was Piffero, but I think Chichien s right. Our other roosters went on holiday if Sneaky Thigh Biter attacks Trienne one more time, he might join them. Question 62: Roosters go on holiday? I guess so, but Cheyenne continued, Once he knows you, he can be sweet but sneaky, all the same. Do you know anyone who is both sweet and sneaky? The princess didn t hesitate in saying, Yes. Cheyenne went on, If he threatens you, just stand up tall, stretch out, and in your boldest voice tell him, I m the boss. Hiss, if you must. If you are afraid, don t let him know. Make yourself braver than you feel. Question 63: The princess is going to have to do that before the story is over, isn t she? What would make you think that? Once inside the hen house, Cheyenne had to bend over to keep from bumping her head. She observed, You are wearing rubber boots. That s good. There s poop everywhere. Cleaning up the poop could be another chore if you are interested. The hen house was dirtier than she was expecting, but it smelled sweeter than she expected. There was no rooster. Three black hens came over to them and bobbed their heads expectantly. No feed now, Cheyenne told them, If you are done laying, why don t you go outside? One of the hens squawked, but they turned around and hopped out the door. Question 64: Because Cheyenne told them to? I don t know. All I know is that they went back outside. 21

6 They started on their chore. Not the chickens, the princess and Cheyenne. The tall, periwinkle sister showed the princess how to refill a waterer. Don t be in a hurry or you might get yourself wet. But I m already all wet, the princess said. Then she looked down at herself. Still dirty from her tumble in the mucky pond, she was not at all wet. Even her socks felt dry. The princess was patient and didn t spill a drop. She did better than I ever did. When I was growing up on the farm, I always spilled water when that was my job. When they were finished, most of the water was still left in the smaller bucket. Cheyenne set both buckets down just outside the door of the hen house. Cheyenne then took the princess to the far end of the hen house where there were rows of nest boxes. Two nest boxes had hens in them. The black hen is still at work laying an egg. But see Astrud? The hen in the bottom nestbox. Look how flat she makes herself. She s broody. Question 65: What s broody? Do you remember the Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hatches the Egg? It s like that, but for real. A hen sits on eggs to hatch them out. Except for once or twice a day when she gets up to eat, drink, and poop, she stays put. It usually takes 21 days for a chick to hatch. Girl chicks are called pullets. The boys are called cockerels. Astrud is still a pullet she s not yet a year old and she s already gone broody. She s been broody for more than a month, and there aren t even any eggs under her. That s dedication. Stubbornness, but dedication. Question 66: How many chickens are there? How many chickens are there? asked the princess. More than twenty, and fewer than sixteen. Except at night. Then there are exactly seventeen, including Sneaky Thigh Biter. Question 67: How can that be? How can that be? the princess demanded. Have you ever tried to count chickens? replied Cheyenne. They never hold still, and the number s never the same. Except at night. Chickens are good that way. They come home to roost every night. Then you can count. Well, I don t. But Chichien says there are exactly nineteen. I thought you said seventeen? Seventeen, exactly or nineteen. Sometimes Chichien has me check to be sure they are all here. 22

7 Question 68: If she can t even count them, how could she know when they are all there? I guess she has her own way. Question 69: Do the hens have names? That s what the princess wanted to know, too. They all have names, explained Cheyenne, just not all different names. All the black hens the same name. OK, Amri, what do you think the black hens name should be? Question 70: How about Licorice? All the black hens are named Licorice. Cheyenne revealed. I don t know where that name came from. Inkee was Chichien s suggestion. Trienne proposed Jamaica, but in the end, we agreed on Inky. Licorice? I mean Licorice. The hens that look like a starry night, like the broody hen, are called Starry Night. Question 71: Didn t you say the broody hen s name was Astrud, Grandpa? Don t you mean Astrud? asked Princess Amri. Astrud was my suggestion, replied Cheyenne. Chichien wanted to call them Galileo, but that s a boy s name. Chichien said it wasn t and that it shouldn t matter. Trienne almost convinced us to name them Pepperpot, but Starry Night was the compromise. Compromise can be hard, and usually nobody gets what she first wanted. Nobody liked Caprice. Not even me, and that was one of my suggestions. They lay pretty creamy colored eggs, our Astruds. Cheyenne continued, I m glad there is no crayon called eggshell, because eggshells come in too many different colors. She talked on excitedly. Three of our hens can speak their own names. They don t look alike except they all have whiskery feathers that stick out from their faces so my sisters can tell them apart. They lay green eggs. The one up on the roost is Kokodaka. I heard you, Kokodaka. Hens brag after they ve laid an egg. Veeka, Chachalaca, Kackarina, and Kikirika must be outside. Question 72: Isn t that five hens, not three? That s five, the princess corrected. Oh, and I left out Zlaatka. Did you know there is magic in chickens? Everything on a farm is magical, really, but chickens are especially magical. Astrud sure is. She was out one evening when she should have been in. We found her over 23

8 by the orchard. I tried to get her to compromise, but she wouldn t. Chickens can t fly, not really. I m sure Astrud couldn t flap herself higher than I am tall. However, when I reached for her, she screeched, and the next I knew she was up in a tree. If I was five times taller, I still couldn t have reached her. Chickens can t fly, but she stayed up there a week. Maybe Caprice would have been a good name for her. Let s see if Trienne has some work for you to do. Question 73: Amri will have to weed the garden, next, won t she? A most excellent guess, Amri. But if you think that sounds like that s going to be too much work, I guess we should take a break. You want some lemonade? 24