GET THE GUN BY ROBERT and AMANDA ROUDEBUSH As Bobby Roudebush Jr. climbed into bed, his mind was on Maria, his sister Margie's friend. She had come home with Margie just that day. Maria had teased Bobby about how cute he was and he asked her if she knew that his birthday was in two weeks. " No!", she told him playfully, "How old will you be?" Reluctantly, he admitted he would be twelve. He yearned to be fourteen, so he could be her age. At fourteen she was already developing a figure, but Bobby really wasn't concerned about that. He was more captivated by her broad smile and full red lips. She was an Italian girl with slender hips and waist length wavy brown hair. Bobby loved the intensity in her dark eyes and the way her thick dark lashes softened them. He was hopelessly and utterly in love. Bobby was praying to God that night, he was earnestly praying that on his birthday he would wake up fourteen instead of twelve. He had said his prayer many nights before in hopes that if he were fourteen he could have Maria for his girlfriend. He said his prayer over and over again, justifying to God that he would die if he could not be with Maria. Sometime after even God had lost count of Bobby's insistent prayers, the boy began to sink into that well of consciousness between sleep and waking. It is in this area where the semi-dreams that can jolt you back into the world of consciousness occur. The night before his birthday Bobby faded into one that would become familiar. Bobby began to dream about monsters, the type of nameless, shapeless, usually indestructible creations, that plague the minds of every young child. As the creatures of his mind began closing in on him, someone began shouting. "Get the gun, "they screamed Get that gun!" Just then Bobby was jerked back into consciousness. Being ripped from the dream, his only dimly conscious mind soon forgot the monsters and his gun. But Bobby would often be reminded of his attackers and the "magic" weapon because in the next few nights, and in the nights after that, and in the nights in the years to come in that same foreign area of the mind only touched upon in the time between sleep and waking, Bobby's dream, in slightly different variations, would tempt his memory to retain it, for the gun was all powerfull and could kill anything, even Superman. Bobby was safe as long as he had the gun. The air rushed past Private Roudebush as he ran in a crouched position with his heavy pack under the helicopter s rotating blades. The sound of the blades slapping the air was like small cracks of thunder thudding in his ears. His ears were used to the loud monontonous drone of the "choppers" blades from the twenty minute ride over from the base camp at Phan Thiet. This was his first field assignment in Vietnam.
The small pad for the helicopter had been crudely cleared by the men for the chopper to land. Roudebush was joining the platoon with private Deleon and another private. They were what the seasoned troops of the army called "cherries", the new privates. The platoon had seen a lot of combat and was short a few men. Roudebush did nt know he was coming to replace Kaiser, the machine gunner. Roudebush and Deleon were assigned to Sgt. Raynor's squad. Raynor gave the cherries a little advise before assigning them to a team. "Keep Your Mouth Shut and your eyes open. Keep your head down, don't make any noise and do what you're told! Pay attention to the people around you and do what they do. P.J. Hyladky is your team leader, listen to him. He knows his shit." P.J. Hydlaky was very tall and thin. He had blond hair with a receding hair line. Roudebush noticed how his large blue eyes bulged and how he frequently licked his lips so they were always wet. I want You Cherries to get one thing straight, Hyladky told them quietly, We're the bad guys here... and the Viet Cong are the good guys. Ho Chi Minh is the liberator of the Vietnamese people. They don't die easy, they have a cause, something to fight and die for and we don't. What Hyladky told Roudebush and Deleon shocked them. They thought he was crazy and had already lost his mind. Hyladky was on his second combat tour in Vietnam and he was educated as to what was going on there at the time. At that time private Roudebush knew little about why he was in Vietnam. Sgt. Raynor came back to the cherries and said to Roudebush," You're the biggest of these three. You'll take the machine gun." Raynor gave Roudebush the M -60 and the ammunition. The gun was filthy. It had rust on it and the brass jackets on the cartridges were green and white with powdery corrosion. Roudebush noticed this, but he just figured that that must be how its supposed to be out here in the field in the rain. Another soldier in the squad showed Roudebush how to carry and hold the gun. He told him how to load the belts into it and to keep 100 round belt in the assault bag so he would have one hundred rounds ready at all times. Turn the safety off, like this, he instructed Roudebush, "and just pull the trigger and go." That was all the instruction Roudebush received. He felt like he knew nothing about what he was supposed to do. After everyone was ready and they had their supplies they moved out. It didn't take private Roudebush long to realize how heavy his gun, which weighed about thirty pounds, and his pack which weighed about sixty pounds were. In his pack he kept all of his food and water, his supplies, and all of his personal items; he had a camera, his wallet, and all of the letters he had gotten from home. He learned later that he wouldn't need all of his useless personal items and that they just got in the way. After five minutes he began to wonder how anyone could carry all the weight he had. Back when he was in basic training and advanced infantry in their packs they only carried one quart of water
and one meal. The guns they had carried were the M-16 assault rifles and their one clip of ammunition was only blanks, much lighter than real bullets. The only other thing they kept in their packs was a blanket, so their packs had weighed about ten pounds. The packs they used in Vietnam were called ruck sacks. The rucks had an aluminum frame so it would support the 50 or 60 pound load and were as large as your back from ass to shoulder. Nothing they experienced in basic training or infantry school could prepare the men for what they had to endure while actually in Vietnam. The area where Roudebush was, was a mountainous area of the jungle, but the vegetation was not extremely thick so the men did not need a machete to cut out a path. The plants Roudebush saw around him grew extremely large, one ground plant looked like a rhubarb, except much larger. Roudebush was amazed of the size of the leaves. He remembered that they looked about the size of a Volkswagen, at least five feet across. He could have used them for blankets. The air was so thick with moisture of the jungle it was almost hard to breath. The smell reminded Roudebush of the rich oxygen smell of the air in the atriums back at home in Chicago. The ground they walked on was rich black dirt and rocks with mud on them, everthing was wet and slippery. They were allways in the shade as they travelled because of the tall trees. Roudebush didn't expect to see trees there and he was shocked that he saw no animals. It was very quiet while they moved along, their boots made little noise on the moist rock, so all they heard was the distant cries of the birds. The only life signs Roudebush saw were lizards and bugs. The thirty men in the platoon walked in a single file line, the point man leading the way. They moved slow, almost at a crawl. Stopping about every five minutes because the point man had to look out for land mines, booby traps, or an ambush. Sometimes he would even smell the air. There was no talking they weren't to make a sound. They used hand signals when communication was necessary. It was the rainy season and Private Roudebush wished it would rain. They travelled up and down over the hills and Roudebush struggled under all the weight he carried. The jungle was extremely hot and humid. Roudebush learned that day that a person can sweat from his head to toes. Everything he wore was wet with sweat, even his boots were soaked through. He began to think he would die. He couldn't understand how the others managed. During most of their frequent stops he would put his pack down and bend over, his breaths coming in gasps. He would some times open up his shirt and fan himself in an attempt to cool off. He drank most of his water that day. He got through four quarts before one of the other soldiers talked to him. "Hey cherry, you better stop drinking that water," he warned,. "or your gonna be out of water tomorrow, then your gonna go thirsty for two days!" Roudebush thought to himself, "God, I'm dying of thirst and heat exhaustion. I can't do this! I'll never make it!" It was hot and hard to climb the mountains, they would see a hill, climb it, go back down and climb right up the next one. As they moved on he began talking to himself under his breath, "This is impossible he told himself, "Nobody
can live through this shit, Impossible! I'm never going to make this!" But he couldn't quit because he wouldn't want anyone to call him a sissy! As they topped there last hill they were to set up camp for the nite. When Roudebush realized what was going on he was overjoyed. He had survived his first day! Even though they had only been moving for a couple of hours, it had felt like an eternity. Everyone was assigned guard duty, because there were six guys in his squad he would be able to sleep for three hours, then had duty for one hour. There would be six guard posts around the camp with at least one or two men from each of the four Squads awake at a time. Roudebush took off his pack but he was so exhausted he couldn't even eat. He drank some water and rolled up in his blanket, which was really a 1/4 inch think insulated poncho liner. Right there on the rocks, he instantly started fallin towards sleep. He was almost asleep when he heard in his head a voice shout, "get the gun",and a face came almost into view.. That familiar dream for as long as he could remember, safe with the magic gun, so he fell into a sound sleep. When it was his turn for guard duty, Hyladky woke him up, so Roudebush went and set up for it. He sat on the ground with the gun set up in front of him. As he sat there he had no trouble staying awake because he was so scared. He was thinking about how back at base camp some of the more experienced soldiers were talking about how they reacted to the first action they saw. They talked about how every person reacts differently, some guys freeze up and don't make it out of their first fight because they get so freaked out. Roudebush was scared so he had become acutely aware of everything around him, every sound. He had the safety off so he was ready even though he questioned how he would react if something happened while he was on duty. When his hour was up, he woke up the next guy; and went back and rolled up in his blanket. He had no trouble sleeping, this time he went right to sleep, and didn't wake up until morning. The next morning when Roudebush got up, it was chilly and the dew was wet on everything. Another of the guys showed him how to make instant coffee in his large metal canteen cup. The coffee was great for him because he liked instant back in the "real world", as they referred to being back in the U.S. The guy showed him how to break off a small piece not larger then a marble, of his C-4 (highly explosive plastic) and light it. The C-4 burned fast and hot, without smoke or odor. Roudebush thought it was great. It boiled his water for coffee in thirty seconds. The first squad had already set off on a re-con mission, to make sure everthing was okay. Roudebush was busy making his canned ham and eggs. He learned anything tastes good when you re really hungry, when Sgt. Raynor came to keep check on how things were going for the cherry. "How are you this morning?" he asked him, "Did that gun kick your ass yesterday?" "Yes, it did sarge." moaned Roudebush "Well it'll be much better today", he told him, "it always is." Then he heard gunfire close by.
"Up, move out!" Raynor came into the center of the squad and said quitely. The guys quickly put on their gear and followed him over the ridge to the top of the hill. Roudebush was scared as the shots continued, obviously the re-con team met with some enemy. Roudebush was remembering what he thought about last night when suddenly shoots broke out all around him. They were just two hundred yards from the ridge. Rounds were popping within inches of him but he couldn't move, he just went numb. Instinctively when the shots broke out, he just pulled the trigger. Ka chunk!!! The gun misfired. It was jammed! Roudebush couldn't think. He heard the gun shots exploding around him, and he saw the green tracers speeding past his head, coming at him, but he couldn't move. Then he saw the familiar U.S. orangish -red tracers flashing away from him, but he never expected to see the green streaks coming at him. Still he just stood there pulling the trigger harder and harder, but nothing would happen. It was probably lucky that the gun misfired because he would have most likely shot one of his own men. He was still standing there jerking on the trigger when he heard something that began to make sense. He heard a voice like he was coming out of a dream. It was Raynor, he had seen what was happening and came running at Roudebush. "Get the gun!", he shouted, "Get that gun! Make that gun talk! Shoot that Son of a Bitch! Fire that F------ gun! Roudebush still tried to pull the trigger but it was still jammed.. Raynor knocked him backwards with all his momentum so he would nt get hit. His dream had happened for real. Finally a face came out of the dream and into view and it was Raynors! The fire fight was over as quickly as it had started. They figured that they had gotten a couple of the enemy, even though only one body was found. The body was the first one Roudebush had ever seen, and he didn't expect what he saw. It was strange because it looked like his hair was coming off but it was because the Viet Cong had been wearing a toupee. By the time they found the body he had already been dead for several hours and it was already beginning to swell. Roudebush could see his belly blowing upwards and he noticed the unnatural gray of his skin and the purple around his lips. The body was already beginning to fill with air with the strong stench of a rolling corpse, it was strange how he had started to smell so soon. That body would always be an image engraved in Roudebush's memory. Later that night Raynor took Roudebush aside and said, "Let's see what the hells the matter with that machine gun." Raynor showed him how to take the entire gun apart. He showed him all the pieces, how it worked and how to clean it. And never, ever feed it green ammo! he stressed. The reason it had missfired was because Kaiser had taken such poor care of it. Raynor told him, "This thing is your life, and if you don't keep it clean, this is gonna happen to you the next time. Only next time you won't be so lucky and You'll get it, then you'll be gone and the next guy will get the gun." Roudebush never forgot this lesson. He cleaned his gun every night. He took
the whole thing apart and cleaned all the pieces. For the next several months that he carried it the gun never failed him again. Roudebush never did have his dream again. What had been for him an inevitable part of going to sleep was never to occur again. Looking back he always believed the dream might have been a premonition, but it may have also been part of growing up. He was finally 14!