William O. Wing follows his lighthearted novel,... SO THERE, with a collection of fun short stories about growing up and becoming a man. The stories stretch from the mid 1940's to the present day as Wing spins humorous tales about his family, friends, and pets, as well as a few slightly bent characters. Most of the subject matter is drawn from an older generation when family values were more clearly defined. Story Time Order the complete book from Booklocker.com http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/6752.html?s=pdf or from your favorite neighborhood or online bookstore. Your Free excerpt appears below. Enjoy!
The evening had gotten cool so the women broke out their brightly colored crocheted shawls, draping them over their shoulders as they tossed back and forth on the porch swings, while the supporting chains squeaked a melodious tune with the crickets and frogs as they sang their night time song. The men with their tobacco lit and glowing, feet perched on the rail of the porch, cocktail in hand, made for a perfect setting. Everyone warming up and tuning up for a thorough thrashing and trashing of all the local news / gossip/ rumors / and just plain ol lies about neighbors / friends / family and a few folks they didn t even know. That s what you did in a small town, talk about everybody, cause everybody talked about you, and since everyone loved doing it and could participate in the exchange it really didn t make a heck of lot of difference if what was discussed was factual or not, since truth in this particular sport had no relevance whatsoever. In fact, Grandma Cora liked to say, the bigger the lie the better the story and Lord knows, she could tell some whoppers.
Story Time William O. Wing
Copyright 2013 William O. Wing ISBN 978-1-62646-319-6 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Published by BookLocker.com, Inc., Bradenton, Florida. Printed in the United States of America. The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. BookLocker.com, Inc. 2013 First Edition
Her Name is Amanda She arrived at my front door in the middle of the night, brought by a friend who said she had no home or place to go since her owner, another dear friend, had been killed earlier in the evening in a head-on collision on the Bayshore freeway. Miraculously she survived a grinding crash that neither man nor beast should have walked away from, so she must have used up several of her nine lives. An Austrian Siamese Tree Cat. Of course there is no such breed but my friend emphatically told me that s what she is so that s what she is. A large, beautifully-coordinated animal with long silky fur that flows like a gossamer cape in the moonlight as she glides through the yard. She also thinks she s a feline movie star, so who am I to argue with an Austrian Siamese Tree Cat? I take her Royal Highness twice a month to be coiffed at a very snertzy hair salon, while I get trimmed at a local barbershop. She takes twice as long and cost four times as much, but I m sure I m not telling you anything you don t already know. The other day I brought home a very nice looking Tomcat I borrowed from a neighbor in order to provide a bit of social interaction with a member of the opposite sex, thinking this would be something she d appreciate and applaud. She let it 67
William O. Wing be known in no uncertain terms, that when and if she wants to go out on a date and socialize, fraternize and copulate with some boy cat, she ll do the picking and choosing and for me to keep my nose out of her social life. That was and is the last blind date I ll arrange for her Highness. I purchased a sumptuous wicker basket with bedding that would rival the quality and pricing of a top-of-the-line Stearns and Foster mattress. However, her Highness chose to eschew the look-alike offering and picked the real deal, which of course was the bedding that I slept on. The first night of our honeymoon together was cut short when we had a heated battle over who would sleep on which side. As you might imagine, it simply wasn t worth the grief or disruption of a good night s rest to argue with an Austrian Siamese Tree Cat over something as mundane as to which side belonged to whomever She of course slept wherever she pleased, which for most of the night was on top of my chest. You d have thought we were man and wife the way we argued and debated territorial dominance within my house, which was fast becoming her house and I was fast becoming a guest rather than the proprietor. I have a favorite puffy chair of immense proportions and love to disappear within its deep feathery cushions when I curl up with a favorite book. More often than not, I have a rather terse if not contentious discussion with you-know-who, about wanting and needing a modicum of privacy and solitude before I squeeze into this cocoon of warmth and softness. She watches and waits. Once I ve gotten settled and she s sure I won t be coming up for air, she ll begin pacing, back and forth, back and forth, continuing this cadence while making sure I can see her from the corner of my eye, knowing all too well that sooner or later I ll have to speak. 68
Story Time What in God s name are you doing, Amanda!? My outcry has no effect whatsoever on her incessant marching, for she is bound and determined to elicit a motor response from my body. Finally I give in, set my book aside, and move to a vertical sitting position. Well, you poor sport, are we going to have to put up with your little temper tantrum the entire night or will you be a good kitty and go about your business? Tromp, tromp, tromp, she marches on. Not one to be intimidated by my verbal barrage, she is determined to see this through to the end. You really are a spoiled rotten cat, you of course know that, and for you to act like a three year old child who can t get her way is unacceptable behavior. Tromp, tromp, tromp, she marches on. Do you really think this teenage tactic of parading back and forth like a tin solider will move me to let you jump on my chair? Tromp, tromp, tromp, she marches on. I m beginning to think that perhaps we are married and that she is my wife, for this is what wives do to drive husbands insane and her silence is just another layer of torment that comes with the ploy. You ll wear the carpet out if you continue this insane behavior and I m about to get very upset. Surely you don t want us to have a spat before beddy-bye time, now do you? 69
William O. Wing Tromp, tromp, tromp, she marches on. As in all relationships, one must sooner or later decide to either give in or move out and since this is my house and I ve no other place to go I give in. Okay you win, I say as I give the puffy arm rest a gentle pat with my hand. With that, she abruptly stops her pilgrimage, turns her athletic body and with the spring of an African Gazelle pounces onto my chest. I can see a smile cross her catlike lips before she plants a catlike kiss on my lips then purrs with catlike approval and contentment as she settles in. No question We re married. 70
William O. Wing follows his lighthearted novel,... SO THERE, with a collection of fun short stories about growing up and becoming a man. The stories stretch from the mid 1940's to the present day as Wing spins humorous tales about his family, friends, and pets, as well as a few slightly bent characters. Most of the subject matter is drawn from an older generation when family values were more clearly defined. Story Time Order the complete book from Booklocker.com http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/6752.html?s=pdf or from your favorite neighborhood or online bookstore.