TALE OF A GOING CONCERN Now gents, how much for this mystery box in its wrappings and ribbons gay? How much for it, what am I bid, what are we going to say? Ah, thank you, five, and now it s ten, and fifteen now I see, Come gents, it s worth far more than this, whatever it may be. What, lady, will I take your bid, another half a crown? Of course I will and if I don t get more I will surely knock it down. Now all we want is another bid that will bring it to a score, Remember it is for a real good cause, the V.A.Ds want plenty more. Ah, thank you, now I have a pound and it s going, going, gone, And this beautiful, wonderful mystery box is knocked down to Jimmy Vaughan. Now Jimmy he was anxious to see what he had for his quid, Soon he had the wrappings off and opened up the lid, And there lay something in the box that filled him with surprise, You could see it in his tell-tale face and his startled eyes. For there a huge goanna lay he measured ten feet two, He had a ribbon round his neck and was painted red, white and blue. Jimmy stared and said, Oh gosh, I bought him for my girl, what am I to do? I guess that goosey is dead asleep said young Billy Jones (Reggie Ellis) with a grin, And if you want to wake him up, just tickle him under the chin. Then that goosey made one flying spring right in among the crowd,
The kiddies screamed, the girls all fainted, the boys yelled wild and loud, And every one who stood around, I think they thought like me, That goosey would make one grave mistake and climb someone for a tree. Soon he had a passage cleared for a break away out back We couldn t see his heels for dust as he raced down the running track. He is gone said Jimmy, but on the track stood a tall gum tree, He didn t stop to think, straight up that tree went he. This time the auctioneer he yelled, How much for this going concern? How much for him, what am I bid, some more money he must earn. I m offered three, and now it s four, and now I m bid a crown, But that going concern still climbed up although he was knocked down. And there he sat on the topmost limb in his coat of red, white and blue The buyer, young Frank Page, said, Well girls, what am I to do? For I want to take that goosey home to make him into stew. One V.A.D. said Frank dear, climb up and grab him by the tail. Of course we all knew Frank was game but that day he turned pale. Another V.A.D. said, Frank sing to him as you oft times sing to me, Come back darling to my side and ever happy we will be. The cutest little V.A.D. said, Frank dear place some milk at the foot of the tree, Oft times I have heard Mum say gooseys love milk just like Dad loves rum in his tea. Frank said no more, jumped into his car, he must have gone straight home,
He later returned with a bucket of milk, he squeezed from strawberry roan. The sun had set, the crowd had gone and it was getting late, Frank said to the few who stood around, Who ll stay with me and wait? I said, I ll stay with you Frank if you buy a bottle of OP rum, But don t put all of it into the milk, remember we want some. Quickly Frank mixed up that rum and milk, a nice little trap he laid, Placed the bucket near the foot of the tree and then hid back in the shade. Soon the fumes of that rum reached the top of that tree, That going concern got as restless as he could be. Then all at once, before you could blink, he was down that tree in a flash, He raced across to that bucket and for the rum and milk made a dash. We watched him lap the whole lot up, he even licked the bucket out. Come on said Frank we have got him at last as we raced over with a shout, And there he lay so quiet and still, Frank said, Why the poor blighter is dead, I said, Yes Frank, dead drunk is he, we will have to put him to bed. We dragged him up to the school flag pole, tied him to it by the tail, In the moonlight he looked like a big pine log or even a fair sized whale. Early next morning Joe Duncan called around, he had Frank s wagon and pair, But when he got there he had a rude shock, he could only sit and stare, For that going concern had disappeared, even the flag pole was not there.
A fortnight later Frank received a letter, it was from old Alf Cane, It read, Dear Frank, come up here quick I have caught your goosey again. When you come bring fifty bob, I will tell you what it is for, That blighter has ate twenty dozen eggs, and chickens in galore, For he is very fond of them, he has cleaned out all my pens, And crowing like the rooster, and cackling like the hens. And now those chooks have gone on strike, they will lay me no more eggs, To feed a blighter with a tail, that has claws as well as legs. Now Frank, he was a real good sport, he paid up like a man, And soon he had that going concern into his four wheeled van. At last he got him safely home and chained him to a log, He thought he had to mind the house, and started barking like a dog. He soon was tame and off that chain and couldn t he just eat, He was very fond of kiddies, or any other kind of meat. One day when Frank went for his cows and he rode on to a rise, He saw a sight on the flat below that filled him with surprise. For there his cows were mustered up and all were homeward bound, He heard the cracking of a whip and the barking of a hound. And then he spied his going concern astanding on a log, He was using his tail as a stockwhip and barking like a dog. And as those cows jogged along he would hop on to a stump, And bring his tail down with a crack on the nearest old cow s rump. For many years he drove them in through sunshine and the rain
Summer, winter, wet or fine, to him it was all the same. One evening when he had brought them home he began acting very strange, He hopped and jumped about round Frank then raced off down the range. There must be something wrong said Frank, whatever can it be, I will saddle up my old stock horse and ride after him and see. He followed him for half a mile down an old creek flat, And then he found his best jersey cow astanding on her back. Her foreleg it was caught in the fork of a fallen tree, And then she had turned a somersault, it was as plain as it could be. When Frank got home and told his wife, she said, Goosey is worth his weight in gold, No doubt you bought a treasure the day that he was sold. One morning when Frank went out to milk his going concern was not around, He whistled and called to him but he was nowhere to be found, Then he saw this message ascribbled on the ground, Dear Frank, at last I have got to leave you, I am going back to the wild bush land, Back to the home of my childhood, to the hills and mountains grand, It grieves me for to leave you, it fills my heart with pain, But I m longing for the greenwoods, the valleys and the plain. Last night when you were busy feeding the store pigs and the sows, I met a sweet young goosey, and I made many promises and vows. So we have gone away together and together we will roam,
The hollow of a greenwood tree will be our future home, Together we will wander on so happy and so free, A pair of dinky-di Australians and wish good luck to the VADs. Farewell Frank, I ever will remember the day you bought for a crown, As a going concern that still climbed up, though Chas White knocked me down.