BREATHE by Annalisa Mahieu Drop Drop Smooth crimson streaks silently slip down the the drain and out of existence She shakily flips up the lever to block the drain She turns the worn down blue knob, water starts splashing into the bathtub The ice-cold water throwing her into shock The water rises at its own pace It gradually transforms into a pale pink Teeth chattering, she lays back until her head makes contact with the solid wall behind her An unintentional sigh of relief spills out of her ajar mouth Her debilitated, near lifeless hands grasping the tinted metal of a razor She drops it Clink A wistful frown has settled onto the girls violet, cracked lips Take a deep breath In Out
Breathe In Out Her eyelids flutter as they begin to get heavy Deep marks have been sliced recklessly into her delicate, scarred wrists Her body frigid from the shocking cold water spilling onto the tiles A numbing sensation runs from the tips of her toes to the ends of her damp honey blonde hair Her muscles relax involuntarily The girls doe eyes roam the entirety of the space around her Blink Blink The half used soap bar that smells of sweet honey comb collecting dust on the sink top A toilet seat, the color of a wilting daisy flower Shower curtains with neutral toned circles overlapping one another The small cracks along the bathtub lining All of the different beauty products lining the wooden shelves, different sizes and colors Different scents and purposes But they all have one job To make a person more beautiful
To make a person more confident It is Guaranteed She used those products with hopes and expectations Like everything and everyone else, they fell short on their promises The promise of being pretty The promise of fitting in But she was sucked into an unforgiving community that shuts out bodies of people Because they are different Loneliness and isolation is all these people know Including herself Harsh words slice their way back into her memory and settle there, unmoving Disappointment Useless Mistake Those words Sharper than fifty wasps stings Just Die Already Her heart starts to slowly beat until it s only a whisper of a murmur Thump Thump Her eyelashes brush her rosy cheeks as they try to stop the tears streaming down her face
Knock Knock Knock She doesn't dare move The door handle struggles to turn as a person tried to open it The jiggling on the handle stops There is an unnerving silence 3 2 1 Splinters explode around the room hitting the water stained mirror and landing in the cool water Drop The door barely hanging on by its hinges She hears the sloshing noise of shoes rushing in water towards her Smooth and calloused hands cup her face WHAT DID YOU DO? Sobbing She hears lamentation filled sobbing Breathe
The bawling abruptly stops The girl tries to speak Her lip twitches Breathe A cold stinging sensation hits the whole of her body as she is lifted out of the water She sees nothing but an abyss of blackness Her melancholy eyes weighted down as a ship is by a rusted anchor The warmth of a blanket being wrapped around her limp, pale body The tone of her father's frantic voice calling for an EMT The sobbing of her frail mother, and the shaking of her body against the girls head A feeling of being lifted Breathe The vibrations of a vehicle rushing to the nearest hospital The cold touch of metal piercing her skin I Don t Want To Die Memories flash into her frantic brain The soft fur of her purring cats The twinkle in the eye of her best friend The cheerful laughter and giddiness of her parents playing a board game IV fluids travel through her frayed veins A quivery hand grasping onto hers The sound of the sirens driving her to a second chance
Breathe Just breathe