THE FOLLOWING IS PRESENTED IN THE EXACT STYLE OF A TYPICAL LITTLE RASCALS ONE-REELER.

Transcription

1 THE FOLLOWING IS PRESENTED IN THE EXACT STYLE OF A TYPICAL LITTLE RASCALS ONE-REELER. HITLER S YOUTH EXT. STREET - BERLIN, DAY Five 6-year old BOYS (HIMMY, DOC, GOERING, IKE AND ) are sitting on the curb of the street below a tenement. WERNER, a German Shepherd, is curled up next to them. A cute little girl,, comes walking by. They all sit up straight and fuss with their hair. Guten tag, boys. EVERYONE Guten tag, Eva! Which one of you gentlemen would like to walk me to the store? They all stand up. Dolphy clears his throat, and they all sheepishly sit back down. Dolphy extends his arm. Allow me, Fraulein. Why thank you, Dolphy. They are about to set off, when a horse and carriage come clopping by. In the carriage sit, 7, and his father. Hello, Eva. Hello, Yitzhak. Would you like a ride in our carriage? Would I! She gets in. Dolphy frowns. The other boys climb on the horses.

2 2. Children, children! Get off my horses! Yeah, why don t you get your own? Now run along! The boys get down, and the horse and carriage take off. IKE How did he get a horse, anyway? GOERING Maybe they re related. My father says that all Jews are horse. DOC That ain t it! His father owns a barbershop. They got lots of money. Say Doc, do you know where the shop is? Sure I do. DOC HIMMY Let s break his windows! Yeah! GOERING No, I ve got a better solution. Let s go. EXT. BARBER SHOP - LATER The boys peek into the shop, where Mordecai is busy cutting a customer s hair. In the corner of the shop, little Yitzhak is reading a book of poetry to Eva. Why Yitzhak, I had no idea you were so romantic. Awww. (blushing) I have to go to the store now. I ll see you later.

3 3. So long. Eva leaves, and Yitzhak returns to his book. Himmy takes a stone and throws it at the book, hitting it. Yitzhak looks up, and Goering waves him over. Suspicious, Yitzhak gets up and goes outside. (CONT'D) What do you want? So I guess you re pretty sweet on Eva, are you? Maybe I ain t and maybe I am. Well you ll never win her over with that unruly mop. GOERING Son, you need a haircut. (self-conscious) You think so? Dolphy commences a rant, complete with his trademark gesticulations. Listen here. Girls like a fella to look presentable, see? If you get all neat and trim looking, Eva might just ask you to marry her. (thinking out loud) I would like to marry her. Of course, she would have to convert. Behind Dolphy s back, we see his hands ball up into fists. Naturally. Well. Okay.

4 (2) 4. Yitzhak approaches his father, who is accepting payment from his customer. (CONT D) Father, would you give me a haircut, please? How much money do you have? Himmy and Doc slap their foreheads in disbelief. Even Werner the dog slaps his forehead. One pfennig. Have a seat. Yitzhak gets on the chair with his book and reads. Dolphy nods to Doc, who raises his arm in salute and takes off. Mordecai begins cutting Yitzhak s hair and whistling. The phone rings, and Mordecai answers it. Hello? (CONT D) INT. DOC S HOME - MOMENTS LATER Doc is on the phone, while his mother looks on curiously. DOC Have you heard the news? Someone dropped two pfennigs on the street six blocks from your barbershop! INT. BARBER SHOP - CONTINUOUS Mordecai s eyes widen. He hangs up and runs out of the shop, unbeknownst to Yitzhak. Dolphy, Himmy and Goering sneak into the shop behind Yitzhak, while Ike stands guard outside. Dolphy signals Goering to start whistling, and he motions for Himmy to get on all fours. Dolphy stands on Himmy s back and starts cutting Yitzhak s hair. He cuts off huge locks indiscriminately. Werner walks into the shop and starts licking Himmy s face. Himmy tries to avert his face, but Werner is persistent.

5 5. So Himmy tries to swat him away with one hand, which causes Dolphy to wobble and he accidentally sticks his scissors in Yitzhak s hear. Owwwwww! Sorry. (lowering his voice) He resumes cutting. Werner starts licking Himmy s nose, and we see Himmy struggle to control a sneeze. Just in time, Goering notices this and clamps Himmy s nose with his fingers. Werner moves around back to Himmy s feet and tugs on his pants. Himmy tries to kick him away, but to no avail. He tries again, and Dolphy struggles to balance on Himmy s back. EXT. BARBER SHOP Ike looks inside the shop and sees what s going on. He sneaks in and grabs Werner s tail, dragging him away. But Werner won t let go of Himmy s pants, so Himmy goes too, which means Dolphy goes too. Himmy manages to crawl back behind the chair, but when Ike pulls Werner s tail again, they all go sliding across the floor again. Mordecai walks back in the shop. Hey you rotten kids! Get away from there. Yitzhak turns around. He is almost completely bald. Father? What s going on? The kids go tumbling to the floor and scramble to avoid Mordecai s grasp. Eva walks into the shop. (CONT D) Hello, Eva! What do you think of my haircut? Eva looks at Yitzhak in horror and runs out the door. The kids manage to get out the door, except for Ike. Mordecai has him by the ear.

6 6. At least I got one of you little street mice! You re in big trouble! IKE I was just following orders! Yitzhak looks in a mirror, sees his head and starts to cry. Mein hair! IRIS into Yitzhak s bald head. FADE OUT.