Ash vs The Wizard of Oz. Written By. PJ Flip. Based on The Evil Dead Wizard of Oz

Transcription

1 Ash vs The Wizard of Oz Written By PJ Flip Based on The Evil Dead Wizard of Oz

2 INT. S-MART - MICHIGAN stands at the entrance. Customers enter the store. (bored) Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. The twenty-something year old store manager walks up to Ash. Ash fake smiles. STORE MANAGER Ash? Are you happy here? Very- STORE MANAGER Great. You've been here longer than any other employee. (sarcastic) That's soooo Great. Can I get back to work. STORE MANAGER I'm trying to give you a promotion. I'll just stay right here. You can go find someone else to do your work. (mumbling) I could've been king. STORE MANAGER We want to promote you to store manager. (Excited) You're leaving! STORE MANAGER No. We want you to manage our new location. I wouldn't have to see you anymore? Would I?

3 STORE MANAGER No. You would be the boss. I can boss you pimple faced pricks around... Sign me up. The store manager hands Ash an envelope and walks away smiling. Ash opens the envelope. (yelling) Where the fuck is Kansas? INT. S-MART - BREAK ROOM - KANSAS A bunch of young employees are sitting around a table. Ash is standing in front of them. My name is Ash and I am the new store manager. Does anyone have any questions? EMPLOYEE 1 I heard you've worked at S-Mart for over 30 years. The young employees laugh at him. Is there a Dorothy Gale? A young teenage woman, GALE, raises her hand. Today is your first day? Yes. You will shadow me today... Everyone get to work. EXT. S-MART SHOPPING CENTER - KANSAS Alarms go off in the distance. A tornado rips through a small town in Kansas.

4 The tornado heads towards the S-Mart shopping center. People run towards their cars. INT. S-MART SHOPPING CENTER - KANSAS Ash is sitting in a lounge chair eating potato chips while Dorothy stocks the shelves. Dorothy turns towards Ash. How did you lose your hand? What are you like one of those wounded warriors or something? Or Something... Look it's a long story maybe one day I'll tell you over nice cold glass of- You do know I'm 16? Milk. I was saying a nice cold glass of milk. (beat) Come on we have some other shit.. ugh stuff to do. Ash and Dorothy walking around. On the wall in front of the store is a portrait of Ash with a name plate that says Store Manager Ashley J. Williams. A faint alarm can be heard. Ash stops at the portrait and wipes it clean. Your name is Ashley? That's a girls name. The name is Ash... Do I look like a girl? You could be transgender. I'm all man. Ash looks around.

5 Do you hear something? Ash opens the front door. The alarm is louder. Wind closes the door in his face. It's a Twister. Ash looks towards the back of the store. The twister has hit the back. Ahhh, Man... I have to get everyone out of the store. You go get to safety. Ash runs towards the back. (yelling) The basement, get everyone to the basement. Dorothy stays at the front entrance waving at the customers to go to the basement. Ash is waving employees and customers to the basement. The swirling winds catch Ash and pick him up off his feet. He grabs a pole and the wind swings him around it. The wind shifts and Ash is back on his feet. Someone owes me a drink for that pole dance. Ash grabs a top of a metal garbage can that is on the shelf for sale. He uses it to shield himself from flying debris. (fighting the wind) Dorothy... Go to the basement... I'll be riiiight there. As Dorothy is going into the basement; she sees Ash get hit in the head with a shovel and fall to the ground. Dorothy runs over to him and shakes him. He is out cold. Dorothy slaps him.

6 Wake up... This isn't a time for sleeping. Ash gets up. They run towards the basement door but it's covered in debris. They run towards the entrance. EXT. S-MART SHOPPING CENTER - KANSAS Ash and Dorothy run out of the store as the tornado rips through it. They both jump into Ash's Delta 88 car. Ash in the drivers seat and Dorothy in the passengers side. They drive off with the Tornado chasing behind them. The Delta 88 gets sucked up into the Tornado. INT. DELTA 88 We're not on the ground, Ashley! How many times do I have to tell you it's Ash. Out of the windows you can see that they are inside the twister. Various things float past the windows... S-Mart Sign, a shovel, a S-Mart employee smiling at them, Dorothy waves at him. Various items you would see for sale at the store float by. Ash's S-Mart portrait floats by. Ash winks at the portrait. Ain't he a handsome fella. More items float by. A chainsaw floats by. Groovy!

7 Dorothy gets hit in the head with a book, the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, that came from the back seat. It lands in her lap. She picks it up and drops it. Eww, gross. What was that? Don't touch that! Its the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. The what? The book of the dead. EXT. MUNCHKIN LAND IN OZ - DAY Dorothy screams as the Delta slams down to the ground. The drivers side door opens. Close up: Ash's boot stepping out onto the yellow brick road. Ash walks around. Dorothy follows him around holding the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. In the background, we can see two legs with ruby red slippers stick out from under the Delta 88. A Pink bubble floats towards them. Kid, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Ash runs towards the trunk of his car, opens it and grabs a shotgun. He aims towards the bubble and waits. The bubble burst and a beautiful woman, GLINDA, appears wearing a pink gown and holding a wand. Lady, you almost got your pretty face blown off and that would of been a reeealll shame. She points the wand at Ash and Dorothy.

8 GLINDA Are you a good witch or a bad witch? Did you just call me a bitch! Witch. Bitch. I'm the guy with the gun. GLINDA I'm Glinda, good witch of the south. Well aren't you a lil miss fancy pants. Squealing can be heard from the background. What was that? GLINDA Those are the Munchkins. Munchkins... The little donut holes? Oooh... I love Chocolate Munchkins. GLINDA You are in Munchkin land. Little people, MUNCHKINS, start popping up from all around them. Glinda points under the Delta 88 at the two legs under the car. Dorothy runs over and looks at the body. Oh, my god we killed someone! But damn she has some hot shoes. GLINDA That was the wicked witch of the east.

9 Glinda magically transfers the shoes to Dorothy's feet. Wouldn't be the first witch I killed. The Munchkins cheer and dance around Ash and Dorothy. GLINDA The Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East. A dark skinned Munchkin walks up to Dorothy and winks. DARK MUNCHKIN I heard you love Chocolate Munchkins. The Munchkins break out in song and Ash dances along with them. He throws a munchkin high in the air and catches him. MUNCHKINS (singing) Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. - The cackle of a Wicked Witch is heard. A puff of red mist and flames appears on top of the Delta 88's hood. The WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST appears inside the mist. The hood of the Delta catches fire. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST Who killed my sister? I thought the witch was dead. GLINDA That was her sister. This is the Wicked Witch of the West. And she's far more wicked then the other one. The Wicked Witch sees the ruby red slippers on Dorothy and points at her. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST You killed her, didn't you.

10 Dorothy jumps back dropping the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. It opens. Ash stares at the flames surrounding the witch on the hood of his car. My baby is burning... Anyone have a bucket of water? Ash runs up the back of the car and stands on the roof. He unzips his pants and pees on the flames. The piss hits the witch in the face. Dorothy, Glinda, and the munchkins look in Disgust. The witch screams as the piss hits her. As she screams the witch melts away. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! She disappears, only her cloak and hat remain on the floor. Ding Dong! The Wicked Bitch is dead. How do we get home? Which is the way back to Kansas? We can't go the way we came. GLINDA The only person who might know would be the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. Where is this wizard? GLINDA He lives in Emerald City. All you do is follow the Yellow Brick Road. A munchkin picks up the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and starts reading from the page. Noooooooooo! You little bastard.

11 The munchkin reading from the book turns into a deadite. Glinda turns into a zombie. Honey, you got wickedly ugly, reeeal fast! One by one the other Munchkins turn into deadites and surround Ash and Dorothy. Ash pumps his shotgun. Ash sticks the end of his shotgun into the mouth of a Deadite Munchkin and pulls the trigger. It's head explodes into a gelatin of blood and flesh. I love me some jelly filled Munchkins. Three tough Deadite Munchkins step up to Ash holding a giant thin lollypop. THREE TOUGH DEADITE MUNCHKINS (singing) We represent the undead guild, the undead guild, the undead guild. And in the name of the undead guild we wish to kill you in Munchkin Land. Ash rips the lollypop out of the hand of the Munchkin and in one swift swing decapitates all three Munchkins. Like stealing candy from a baby. A Munchkin lunges towards Dorothy. Dorothy catches it holding it by both of its shoulders. She holds it back while it tries to bite her, snapping its mouth. She spins it and slams its head into the grill of the Delta 88. Ash and Dorothy stand back to back ready to brawl as more and more Munchkins surround them. Ash and Dorothy step back towards the Delta. What are we going to do?

12 Ash climbs up on to the roof. Follow me Kid. Ash helps Dorothy up onto the roof. Dorothy looks up and points at something in the sky. What is that? Ash looks up. The object gets closer to them. It's a chainsaw. Ash raises his handless arm into the air. The chainsaw clicks into his arm. Groooovy! Ash fires up the chainsaw. Ash jumps off the roof of the car and cuts a path through the Munchkins. The Munchkins all turn their attention towards Ash leaving Dorothy alone. Come get some! Ash fights off the undead horde of Munchkins. Glinda floats up and is face to face with Dorothy. Glinda lunges towards Dorothy and puts both of her hands around Dorothy's neck and squeezes. Dorothy coughs. Ash sees Dorothy in trouble. Ash grabs a Munchkins that has climbed up his back and throws it at Glinda. Glinda drops Dorothy, stumbles back and fall to the ground. Glinda turns into a bubble and floats away. GLINDA (O.S.) (Voice fades away) I'll get you and it won't be pretty. Ash and Dorothy continue fighting off the deadite Munchkins until they are all completely dead. Ash bends over out of breath. He stands straight and his

13 back cracks. Oughhh! My body ain't what it was. Dorothy puts her hand on Ash's shoulder. Come on old man. It's time to go off to see the Wizard. A winged monkey steals the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and flys away. Great, just what we needed a fucken flying monkey... We needed that book. Maybe the wizard knows where it flew off to. Ash and Dorothy get into the Delta 88 and drive off on the yellow brick road. All that is left of Munchkin Land is a pile of dead Munchkins and a blood red stained brick road. EXT. CROSS ROADS OF YELLOW BRICK ROAD The yellow brick road splits in two. In between the roads is a cornfield with a SCARECROW hanging on the fence pointing to the right. The Delta 88 comes to a stop. (O.S.) Great now which way do we go? Ash and Dorothy step out of the car. Ash looks at the Scarecrow. He turns towards Dorothy. Maybe we follow the Scarecrow and go to the right. The Scarecrow moves its arms and now points to the left. Getting senile old man...

14 I'm not old, I'm well aged, like a fine wine. Look it's pointing to the left. SCARECROW (O.S.) It's nice down that way. Ash reaches into the car window and grabs his shotgun and walks into the cornfield. Who said that?... Show yourself. SCARECROW You could go both ways. The Scarecrow points in both directions. Ash shoves the shotgun into the Scarecrows face. Don't make me blow your brains out. SCARECROW If I only had a brain. How do you talk if you don't have a brain? The Scarecrow turns towards Ash. SCARECROW I don't know. But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they? I have plenty of brains, straw man. A Really big brain. Massive.. Humongous. (to the Scarecrow) Do you know the way to Emerald City? SCARECROW I don't know... Should I? (points to the right) (MORE)

15 SCARECROW (CONT'D) Maybe to the right. (points to the left) Maybe to the left. (points both ways) Maybe it's both ways. I'm not in the mood for your games. Ash puts the shotgun into the Scarecrow's mouth and pulls the trigger. The Scarecrow's head explodes into straw pieces. The body falls of the fence. You didn't have to do that. He didn't seem bad. Ash goes to the car. (pointing) It's not dead. The headless Scarecrow is stumbling around picking up straw. Dorothy runs to the car. EXT. YELLOW BRICK ROAD The Delta 88 cruising down the Yellow Brick Road. INT. DELTA 88 Ash driving. The way were cruising, we'll be in Emerald City in no time. Ahhh... Why would you say that? What did I say- The car makes some noises, sputters, and stops. Ash looks at the dash and the oil light goes on. Ash opens the door. I see a cabin over there in the distance. I'm going to check it (MORE)

16 (CONT'D) out. You stay in the car. The camera pulls back revealing Zombie Glinda watching Ash and Dorothy in a crystal ball. EXT. APPLE TREES Dorothy gets out of the car. She looks around and sees apple trees. She walks over to the trees and tries to take an apple. EXT. CABIN Ash looks around the cabin. Dorothy screams. Ash turns towards her and sees her fighting with the trees. Living Trees... What does this place not have? Ash sees a man made of tin. The TIN MAN is holding an axe. Ash grabs the axe out of the Tin Man's hand. Ash runs off towards Dorothy. Close up of Tin Man. TIN MAN (mumbling) Oil Can. A tree holds Dorothy. Ash comes into frame swinging the tin axe, cutting off the branches holding Dorothy. The trees try grabbing at Ash and Dorothy. Ash keeps chopping off the branches. A branch slithers along the ground, unnoticed, and wraps around Ash's ankle. The branch yanks back sending Ash falling to the ground. The branch quickly pulls Ash towards the trees. A loud shot fires, echoing throughout the land. The branch explodes into splinters. Close up of Dorothy standing by the Delta holding the shotgun. Ash and Dorothy run towards the cabin. As Ash and Dorothy run out of range of the branches, the trees throw apples at

17 them. Ash gets hit in the head with an apple. Really.. Dorothy picks up the apple. Close up of an Apple Tree. Glinda looks out from behind it. INT. CABIN Dorothy takes a bite out of the apple. Did you get any for me? There's plenty out there. You're going to make me go back out there after I saved your life. You saved me? I saved you! Ash looks out the window. The trees have stopped. Look around. See if you can find some oil. Ash walks towards the door, takes a step out, then turns back in. EXT. CABIN And stay out of trouble... Ash picks up an apple and takes a bite. He walks over to the Tin Man. He stands in front of it, staring at it's face while he eats the apple. Ash runs his fingers along the face of the Tin Man. The face looks so real. Ash knocks on the chest of the Tin Man. Hollow tin sound.

18 Hollow, no heart in there. TIN MAN (mumbling) Oil Can. Ash looks down and sees an oil can on the ground next to the Tin Man. The Tin Man smiles. Ash pats the Tin Man on the back. Thanks buddy. Ash takes the oil can back to the delta. He opens the hood and puts the oil in. He gets in the car. Turns it on and drives up to the cabin. Close up of tears running down the Tin Man's face. INT. CABIN Dorothy is sitting in a chair eating an apple. The window shatters and Zombie Glinda crashes through. GLINDA Forget about me! Dorothy jumps back. She throws the apple at Glinda. She picks up the chair and swings it at Glinda. EXT. CABIN Stay away. Ash sticks his head out of the window of the Delta 88. Come on Kid. We're off to see the Wizard. Dorothy runs towards the car, slides across the hood and climbs into the passenger window. They drive away. Go! Go! Go!

19 INT. DELTA 88 - NIGHT It's a dark creepy night. The only light comes from the moon and the headlights. Animal noises are heard coming from all around them. A Lions roar is heard. Was that a lion? Or a tiger... or a bear. Oh my! Out the front window you can see a Lion standing on two legs in a fight stance. EXT. DELTA 88 LION Put em up... Put em up. The Delta speeds up and slams into the Lion. The lion hits the windshield and rolls over the top of the car. It slams down onto the yellow brick road. EXT. EMERALD CITY GATES The Delta pulls up to the gates of Emerald City. Ash opens his window and knocks. The Doorman sticks his head out of a window. DOORMAN State your business. We're here to see the Wizard. DOORMAN The Wizard? But nobody can see the Wizard Nobody's ever seen the Wizard! Even I've never seen him! Look, You can either open the gates and let us in or I can open the gates for you.

20 Ash revs the engine of the Delta. (O.S.) Oh, please! Please... Let us see the wizard. DOORMAN Who's in there? That's Dorothy and I'm Ash, The good Witch sent us. Prove it. DOORMAN How am I suppose to do that. Dorothy sticks her feet up on the dash. The gate opens. INT. WIZARDS THRONE Look, I'm wearing the ruby slippers she gave me. DOORMAN Well, bust my balls! Why didn't you say that in the first place. Flames rise from the sides of the throne. Smoke rises. The head of the Wizard appears in the smoke. Dorothy steps up. WIZARD I am Oz, the Great and Powerful! (beat) Who are you? This is Dorothy, the young and small... And I am Ash the cool and handsome. We just want to go home. WIZARD The Great and Powerful Oz knows why (MORE)

21 WIZARD (CONT'D) you have come. I will help you, but first, you must prove yourselves worthy. What do you want from us? WIZARD Perform one small task. Anything. Ash steps in front of Dorothy. What is it? WIZARD Bring me the Golden Cap. The Golden what? WIZARD The Golden Cap, it was in possession of The Wicked Witch of the West. Well we killed her. WIZARD Then this should be a really small task. Retrieve it and I will help you get home. (beat) Now Go! EXT. HAUNTED FOREST - NIGHT The Delta stops at a sign. The sign reads "Haunted Forest" and a second sign reads "I'd Turn Back If I Were You!" INT. DELTA 88 Dorothy looks at Ash. Maybe there is another road? They hear a noise and put up the windows. They start to drive forward and slam on the brakes.

22 Two creatures, JACK PUMPKINHEAD and TIK TOK, cross the road. Jack has a head of a pumpkin and a body made up of bark and dead tree limbs. Tik Tok is a robotic man made of copper. EXT. HAUNTED FOREST Those were two of the most terrifying things I have ever seen. (beat) I think I might have nightmares. They continue driving. They come to a fallen tree blocking the road. They walk. (O.S.) Looks like we're walking from here. Above their heads they hear a noise. They looks up and The Flying Monkeys start diving down towards them. The Monkeys grab Dorothy and fly off. Ash runs in the directions of the Monkeys. He comes to a rocky hill and a top the hill is the Wicked Witch of the West's Castle. He starts climbing the hill. Damn, Monkeys... Couldn't take me up too. INT. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST CASTLE Zombie Glinda paces the room. Dorothy is locked up. What are you going to do with me? GLINDA I'm going to kill you of course. (beat) But It will have to wait a lil while longer. Have to get the spell right. Glinda leaves the room.

23 EXT. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST CASTLE Ash hides behind some rocks and watches The Winkie Guards get into formation. He sees a Winkie get close to him. He grabs him and takes him behind the rocks. Ash steps out from behind the rocks wearing a Winkie uniform. WINKIES (Chanting) Oh-We-Oh, Yo-Ho Oh-We-Oh, Yo-Ho Oh-We-Oh, Yo-Ho Ash follows the Winkies into the Castle. (chanting) Yo-She-A Ho, Ho Ho. Me-rry Chris-t-mas. INT. WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST CASTLE The Winkies followed by Ash enter the Castle. The Winkies go to the right and Ash breaks off to the left. Ash looks around, in every door, window. He slowly cracks a door open and finds Dorothy locked up. Ash sneaks into the room. Dorothy are you ok? Yes, but she will be back real soon... Hurry. Who? Glinda. Ash frees Dorothy. Ash sees the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and takes it. Did you see the Golden Cap? Over there... In the display case.

24 Ash smashes the case and takes the cap. They make there way to the entrance. Glinda appears and yells for the guards to stop them. The Winkies grab Ash and Dorothy. Ash grabs a spear from the Winkies and uses it to cut the rope of the Chandelier. The Chandelier comes crashing down on top of the Winkies. Ash hands Dorothy the Golden Cap and the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. Take these and get to the car. I'll take care of the Bitch! Ash un zips his fly and pees on Glinda. GLINDA I'm melting... Melting. (Laughs) Nope, not melting. Do I look Like a Wicked Witch. A little water isn't going to do me in. Ash grabs a torch off the wall. How about a little fire- He jamms the torch into the stomach of Glinda and watches her go up in flames. INT. WIZARDS THRONE Okay then... that's it! Flames shoot out from each side of the throne. Smoke fills the area. The head of the Wizard appears in the smoke. Ash and Dorothy walk up to the throne. Ash holding the Golden Cap and Dorothy holding the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. WIZARD I can't believe my eyes... Why have you come back? Ash raises his hand holding the Golden Cap.

25 We got what you wanted... The Golden Cap. WIZARD So you have... We would like to go home now. WIZARD Not so fast! I'll have to give this a little more thought. Listen Smokey! We did what you asked. Now send us home... A deal is a deal. WIZARD Go away and come back tomorrow! So what's the deal? Can you send us home or not? Tomorrow. WIZARD I don't want your bullshit. Just send us back. (Screaming) Hey! We've killed three witches, dozens of Munchkins, chopped some trees into fire wood... Don't piss us off. Ash pumps his shotgun and charges the throne. I'm off to kill the Wizard- WIZARD Fine... Mr. Ash will you put on the Golden Cap. Ash puts on the cap. WIZARD You must do this spell exactly as I (MORE)

26 say. WIZARD (CONT'D) Okey Dokey Smokey! WIZARD First, stand upon the left foot and say "EP-PE, PEP-PE, KAK-KE" Then, stand upon the right foot and say "HILO-LO, HOL-LO, HEL-LO" Finally, stand on both feet and shout "ZIZ-ZY, ZUZ-ZY, ZIK!!!" Ash stands on his left Foot. EP-PE, PEP-PE, KAK-KE Ash stands on his right foot. HILO-LO, HOL-LO, HEL-LO Ash stands on both feet. (Shouting) Ugh?!? Zipity do dah! WIZARD (Voice fades off) You Imbecile. I said exactly as I said- Ash takes off the Golden Cap. The Wizards face starts to disfigure. He puts his hands over his face and turns around. A curtain off to the side shakes. Ash opens the curtain to see The Wizard holding his face. Are you ok? The Wizard removes his hands and he is now Evil Ash. Evil Ash slides across the room and grabs the Golden Cap. He puts it on. EVIL Guess who's back!

27 Agh! Not you again! You know him? It's Bad Ash. EVIL I'm not Bad... I'm Wicked! Of course you are. EVIL Miss me... It's only been.. what years. Evil Ash and Ash start fighting. Evil Ash hits Ash with a couple of combo punches. Evil Ash puts one hand behind his back. EVIL (laughing) Let's even this fight out. I'll fight you with one hand behind my back. I've killed you before, I'll kill you again. EVIL I'll fight you standing on one foot. Evil Ash stands on his left Foot. EVIL EP-PE, PEP-PE, KAK-KE Evil Ash stands on his right foot. EVIL HILO-LO, HOL-LO, HEL-LO Evil Ash stands on both feet. EVIL (Shouting) ZIZ-ZY, ZUZ-ZY, ZIK!!!

28 The Flying Monkeys swarm the room and line up behind Evil Ash. Evil Ash points to Ash. EVIL Seize him! The Monkeys go after Ash who fights them off. Evil Ash goes over to Dorothy. I'm not afraid of you. Evil Ash grabs the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis out of Dorothy's hands. Evil Ash grabs Dorothy. Let the kid go. Take me instead. I won't fight it. EVIL The Necronomicon Ex-Mortis is what I really wanted. You're a nice bonus. The Monkeys bring Ash to Evil Ash. Evil Ash chains up Ash and lets Dorothy go. EVIL Go my pretty before I change my mind. Go Dorothy. Go where? Evil Ash looks at her feet and laughs hysterically. EVIL You've had the power to go home all along. All you had to do was click your heals and say "There's no place like home". And poof your home. Now I will take those magical little-

29 Hey... We had a deal. She goes. You got me. Evil Ash grabs Dorothy. EVIL She can go as soon as I get those slippers. Evil Ash goes to grab the slippers off of Dorothy's feet. He gets zapped and gets knocked unconscious. Go home Dorothy... While you can. I'm not leaving you. Just go. I'll find another way home. Dorothy carefully takes the Golden Cap off of Evil Ash's head. She stands on her left Foot. EP-PE, PEP-PE, KAK-KE She stands on her right foot. HILO-LO, HOL-LO, HEL-LO She stands on both feet. Evil Ash wakes up and shakes it off. Evil Ash lunges towards her (Shouting) ZIZ-ZY, ZUZ-ZY- Nooo- EVIL (shouting) ZIK!! The flying monkeys appear before Dorothy.

30 Lock him away and throw away the keys. The flying Monkeys grab Evil Ash and fly away. Dorothy unchains Ash. Ash goes over to the throne and sits down. EXT. EMERALD CITY Hail to the King! The Delta 88 is outside of the castle. INT. DELTA 88 Ash is sitting in the drivers seat and Dorothy is lounging back in the passengers seat. Her feat, wearing the ruby red slippers, are up on the dash board. Kid...you ready to go home? Dorothy taps her heals together. There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home. INT. S-MART - KANSAS Laying down in the rubble of what was the S-mart is Ash. Dorothy is kneeling over him. She slaps him. Ash wakes up. Whooh kid... I thought we were friends. The S-mart employees and customers come up from the basement. A few of them come over to help Dorothy and Ash. I had the weirdest dream... And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were there. Dorothy stands up the sun shines down on her. The ruby red

31 slippers sparkle in the light. But... it wasn't a dream. And that ugly She-Bitch was there! Zombie Glinda appears and lunges down towards Ash. Ash still laying down grabs the chainsaw, puts it on and holds it up in front of him. Zombie Glinda's forward motion sends herself into the chainsaw cutting herself in half. They always come back. EXT. S-MART SHOPPING CENTER - KANSAS Ash drives off into the sunset in his Delta 88. Dorothy waves. (V.O.) There's no place like home.